It’s (A Little) Weird to Work with Parts — But Weird Is Good

When I introduce the idea of “parts” in therapy to clients who aren’t familiar with the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, they sometimes look at me like, “Wait, what? You want me to talk to a part of myself?”

I get it. Parts work can feel a little strange at first. We’re not used to thinking of ourselves as having different inner voices—let alone that they might have their own feelings, fears, and jobs to do.

But once you start noticing them, it becomes hard not to see these diverse aspects of yourself.

We All Have Parts

We all have parts. Some are the ones that lead us to therapy: the parts that carry anxiety, depression, or exhaustion; the parts that drive perfectionism or overworking; or the ones that hold painful beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I’m unlovable.”

When these parts are so front-and-centre—what we call “blended” in IFS—it can feel like they’re running the show.

And in a way, they are. These parts often believe that the survival of the whole system depends on them. Because of painful experiences—usually from earlier in life—protective parts work tirelessly to guard against the pain or vulnerability held by younger, more tender parts.

If they didn’t, the fear is that you’d be overwhelmed or unable to cope.

Why Talking to Your Parts Helps

So while it might feel strange at first, working with your parts can help you understand yourself more clearly, soften your inner critics, and bring compassion to the parts that struggle.

When I think back to my first few sessions with an IFS therapist, I remember one of my parts (a very impatient one) showing up in running shoes, tapping its wristwatch. Another appeared as a shimmering cloud resting on my shoulder.

It felt weird—but looking back, I know that “weird” simply meant unfamiliar.

Talking with these parts, listening to their fears and concerns, and letting them feel truly heard felt deeply respectful and healing.

Our “Left-Brained” World

Most of us don’t spend much time exploring our inner world. We live in an overwhelmingly “left-brained” society that prizes analysis, logic, and language over creativity, intuition, and imagination.

(And while the idea of people being “left-brained” or “right-brained” has been debunked, the metaphor still captures something about our cultural imbalance.)

So if tuning inward feels odd, that makes sense. You’re using muscles (emotional, imaginative, intuitive) that don’t always get much exercise.

Weird Can Be a Good Sign

That sense of strangeness you might feel in your body when you start doing parts work? It’s often a sign that something new is happening.

When we step outside our usual ways of thinking and reacting, the brain literally begins forming new neural pathways. That “weird” feeling can be your system’s way of saying: something different is unfolding here.

So yes—it might feel weird at the start.
But weird can be good.
Weird can be growth.

Want to Learn More About IFS?

If you’re curious about how Internal Family Systems therapy can help you understand yourself more deeply and create meaningful inner change, you might like my post on what IFS therapy is and how it works.

Or, if you’re considering starting therapy, you can learn more about me here or get in touch to explore working together.