You Don’t Have to Be in Crisis to Start Therapy

Ever thought about therapy but worried your problems weren’t “big enough”? This post is especially for those who feel unsure whether their challenges merit therapy—or who are curious but hesitant.

I hail from America, where having therapy is almost as commonplace as brushing your teeth, or ordering oat milk in your flat white—especially in Manhattan, where I lived for 10 years before moving to London. In the UK, although attitudes have shifted quite a bit, there’s still a lingering belief in some circles that therapy is only for people in deep emotional pain.

Unfortunately, this perception can stop many from seeking the support they need—especially if life looks “fine” on the outside. (But inside, our parts might tell us a different truth!) If that’s you, you might be hesitating to reach out because you feel you should be able to manage on your own.

In fact, in the initial consultation, I often hear people say, “But others have it worse than me.” I understand the sentiment, but I always assure my clients that therapy isn’t a competition. It’s a space where the focus is entirely on you—not on the “plenty of others.”

And waiting until you’re in crisis can make things harder to unravel. It’s okay to begin when things are manageable, not falling apart.

Certainly, many clients arrive in therapy for “big” reasons—relationship breakdown, trauma (past or present), or death of a loved one—to name a few, but just as often, people come for far quieter reasons. They feel stuck, they struggle with self-esteem, or they simply want to understand themselves more fully. Sometimes that means talking through persistent self-doubt, navigating a life transition, or untangling patterns that don’t seem to ‘fit’ anymore.

You don’t need to be falling apart to invest in your inner world. Wanting to know yourself better is reason enough.

In my work, I use an approach called Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy. IFS sees us as made up of different parts—like an internal cast of characters. Some protect, some carry pain, some try to keep us going. Therapy helps these parts work together, so you can feel more whole, more grounded, more you.

Therapy is a safe space to explore all the parts of yourself–those that protect, and those that hold pain. And, believe it or not, they’re all working in ways that are trying to help you. To keep you safe. To keep you functioning. 

Therapy is about meeting yourself–like opening a door, shining a light, or cultivating a garden. Right where you are, not where you think you should be. 

Therapy isn’t only for emergencies. It’s for the quietly curious, the stuck, the self-aware, and the brave.

If something in you is stirring at the idea of therapy—even if you can’t name it—listen to that. You don’t need permission.

I offer a free 15-minute phone consultation and would be glad to connect if you'd like to explore this further.